Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
