I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
