oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
