drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
