but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
