I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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