I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
