Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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