Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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