Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
