I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
