Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
