I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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