I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
