thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
