I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
