I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize