Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
