I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's blow job season.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
