I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
