whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i believe in u and ur pee
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
