After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
