everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
