He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
