But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
