Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
