id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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