Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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