I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
