Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The adults are the big ones right?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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