brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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