i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
