can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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