i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
