WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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