are you still at the devil's house?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
