i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
