Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
