i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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