I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
