im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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