He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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