I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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