Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
