Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
