An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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