I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
