At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
