I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
