I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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